The Ode To The Tootsie Roll

This is a story I feel needs to be shared. After many drinks, bars, I ended up with a living room of full of friends and ridiculous statements. My dear friend who had just finished hitting on someone to find out they were not the sex he thought they were, he poured his woes from his beer and down his throat while slowly passing out in my rocking chair much smaller then himself. When he leaned over in his sleep and spit on my floor, I decided it was time to wake him up. Sitting on my bed in my studio apartment, my boyfriend behind me, he plops down next to me and starts trying to grab my ass. I'm sure you can imagine the joy this brought to my boyfriend. So after being kicked off the bed, and with no room on the couch, he settled on the floor to tell us a story about how he is uncomfortable. He stands up and gets in to a battle of logic with myself and after going in circles for about half an hour, looks at my two best girlfriends, who he had been trying to score with all night, and very proudly and matter of factly declared "I have a tiny ass dick". I have seen a lot of men do a lot of things when drunk and heard a lot of "truths" come out after a few drinks but this, this was a first. not only was this sentence repeated, it was finished with "You know like a tootsie roll? Its like that, but better..."

Either way you look at it, whether he meant the short and fat ones or the long and skinny ones, its just not a good thing to compare your dick too. Oh and he's white....